Blank

As I lay in my bed, I just feel blank, and then I move the slightest bit and I feel wetness all over my pillow. I notice I am balling my eyes out without even noticing. My mother walks in to ask me what kind of bread I want and she notices and asks if I have been crying. of course, I say no. and she knows I am lying. She begins to cry and tells me she is there for me and I tell her, NO, I don't want you there, I want him there.

Before all this happens, I get asked to go to Kentucky for the weekend to see him. It is the BEST opportunity to go up there, his dad is here so he would take me, it's a 3-day weekend, and one of his friends is going up there. I ask my parents and they say no. I left the room and started crying and felt like punching someone in the face, or atleast the wall. But I decided not to. I have to contain myself. Anyways, I find out more details, and he said that his parents would make him sleep at his gparents house. So I ask them again tonight at dinner, and it turns into a maybe.
Yeah I understand that asking my parents to let me spend the night with my bf 6 hours away is a lot to ask for, but what is the difference when it comes to later on? None. I am praying to GOD that I will be able to go. I NEED to see him. I want to take every opportunity that is given to me, and I feel that if I don't take it, how will this ever work out, and it is a HUGE slap in the face.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on today... Thanks for reading them.
Pray for me please. Thank you. God Bless You. :]