I am so angry. I have no idea why. I just feel like everything around me is so happy. But I am not. It makes me so mad and pissed. I am not mad at God. Not at all. I am mad at myself. Actually. I have NO IDEA who or what I am mad at. I don't understand. Today was the first day I had tears since I last saw him. I miss him. Everything I do, I say "He would be here", "He would be able to pick me up", "He would be walking me to class", "He would be coming over right now", "He is the one that can make me happy", "He could be in the stands watching me.." Is this normal? I have no motivation to do ANYTHING now. I don't have any motivation to ask my friends over, I have no motivation to talk to anyone, I have no motivation to do well in anything I do.
I am jealous of everything that has to do with Austin. I am jealous of ANY girl he talks to. Why!? I used to be so secure and I KNEW nothing would happen. Now, I am not so sure. Ugh. This is the worst feeling.
I just want him back. Now.
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