Hello Sunshine!

Wow. So life is actually going pretty well nowadays, yeah I still and sad about what we lost, and what we had.
:[ I still get teary, but that is what happens when you love someone.
BUT, I found someone better. We have been talking quite a bit.
He is like you, only not, I can talk to him for endless hours, just like I did last night. I met him a week ago, and have learned so much. The thing that catches me the most about him is that he can read me, he is the only guy that has ever been able to figure me out.. it makes me curious.
I really like him, and I am glad I have someone to get my mind off of you.
It helps a lot. I am not thinking of you every single waking minute of the day.
I am so blessed, I dont even know what to think.
All I know is that God has introduced me to this guy to replace what I have missing.
It still hurts, don't get me wrong. I still think about how you "said" you loved me but really didn't. But that will never go away.

I thank you, GOD. I thank you for what you have done to me. :]
It makes me a stronger person inside and out.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I love you.

Band Days

MMMmmmmm, they always make me feel so good.
Hanging with all my band geeks is so fun.
I miss them so much. if there were to be a school with just these kids, omg, it would be so awesome!!
But I still think of him a lot. Yeah it hurts still, but I am glad I have ppl to distract me. I love them.
I love everyone!! Ahh I am blessed to have ppl like them in my life.
:] God Bless.

Stupid Mistake

So, I was in the loving mood bc you know, it is Valentine's day, and so I texted him and said, "I love you, I haven't said that in a while and so I wanted to say it."
and he replies,"I can't say it back, I miss you. I'm sorry."
:[ That makes me sad. He doesn't love me.
He said he misses me and that he likes me and he wants to be friends.
Wow. I SHOULD not have said anything.
I mean yeah, it hurts, but dang, he doesn't even love me?
Ok. This is it. I need to move on. This is a sign that I need to.
Ok. I got this.
Ohhh and he said my mom told him to be straight up with him, so he is.
WHAT THE HELL!?

Snow Day!!

Wow. Today has been so great!! :]]
I was asked to practice with Varsity last minute!! That was exciting. I miss playing basketball so badly! I am so glad Coach asked. It seemed to get my mind off of things so I gotta keep my mind busy!!
Then after practice, it started snowing! I freakin LOVE snow with a passion!!
Lol. I made a HUGE snowman!! She is homecoming queen and a UGA Fan! :] she has a watermelon mouth too!! haha
I had a great night last night too. ;]
But the bad thing is, is that I still miss him like crazy and would be with him in a heartbeat. But I feel like God is filling in this hole. Not completely, but enough to where I am not depressed all the time.
I am still in love.
But it happens right?!
Oh well! Maybe down the road!



Sunday is Valentine's day!
Plans:
Church!
Nursing home!! 10-12
CBV: Dinner, Axiom, Cake, Movie
Great time!!!I am excited.

(Kinda sucks not having him here to be my love, but I am gonna have a BALLIN time!!)

Blank

All these emotions I have cancel each other out.
Therefor, I feel nothing.
I can't determine whether or not I like it or not...
:/ Who knows... it could be a good thing, right?
I still have to type up my letter but I am too lazy to do that.

Oh and I found a song that reminded me of you...
"Even if you are a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me

And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear it inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time, you were telling me lies

So tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever try sleeping with a broken heart?
Well you could try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you

You wore the crown, you made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me, need me
I thought you told me, you'd never leave me

Looking in the sky i could see your face
And i knew right where i fit in
Take me, make me, you know that i'll always be in love with you
Right till the end

So tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start it's 'bout to fall apart
So rather than hold on to a broken dream or just hold on to love
And i could find a way to make it, don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, i'm gonna find a way to make it without you"


On a good note:
- Today I asked my "second" mom to be my confirmation sponsor and she teared up and said she would be honored.
I am so happy about that. She is the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life, and I know she can get me through everything that is going on.



PS. I am still in love with you.
Is that ok?

Ughhh. I FREAKIN hate you.

I can't be happy because of you, you freakin douche bag.
I hate you.
Thanks for SCREWING UP my FREAKIN life.



(I wrote you a letter today, I will post it later.)